Let me share with you a little about what is going on in my heart.
This past Friday, I had the pleasure of running into my senior associate pastor and his family at a Jon Foreman concert. I found them exceedingly wonderful, as always. But I realized something the next day: there was a reason why I valued his family so much.
He treated me like I mattered from the day he met me. He listened to what I said with both ears, focusing on what I said because it mattered to him. He loved me from the day he met me.
Then I realized–what if God treats me the same way? What if God wants to hear what I have to say? What if He is waiting eagerly for me to pray to Him, writing down my every word in His heart? What if God wanted to get to know me from the day my parents were born?
But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even while we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved). – Ephesians 2:4
This news astounded me. I was overcome. This verse came to me on the same day. Not only does God love me now, but He loved me equally as much when I was still a sinner. When I was living in complete defiance of Him. When I was ignoring Him. He always listened and always cared. I am beginning to grasp this but it still blows my mind.
Another verse has come to me since then that has also changed the way I view life:
The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent. – Exodus 14:14
I was in the car on my way to the hospital, trying to remain calm. I had accidentally taken a serious medicine twice. I prayed, “Father, I know You will fight for me while I keep silent. Right now I can’t fight for myself. So please fight for me.” There was no way I could change what the medicine was doing in me. But God could. And He ended up making me have no trouble whatsoever. I was in His hands.
Another thing I tend to pray when I am afraid is this: God, be with me. Just hold my hand. It meant so much to me for Him to be holding onto me, in the room or car with me, wrapping His arms around me. Then these verses came to me the next day:
The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. – Psalm 37:23-24
Not only was my desire coming true, but it was on a Biblical basis! God really did hold my hand. He really did sit in the car with me. He was protecting me all the while. I ended up being completely fine and going home that very night. He truly was watching over me.
YHWH, I know You are with me always. Open my eyes to see You wherever You are. I pray over those reading this post; I pray that they would be nourished and understand how deep Your love truly is, as You showed me. I love You, Father.