Propter/Post

you know, it’s funny how you get used to something without even planning on it. you never thought you would, because it was so new when it happened, you’d never experienced it before; and yet as time continued, knowing for a fact that it would come to an end soon, you grew accustomed to it. you saw their faces so many times you’d practically memorized them, but when it all ended, they seemed to be nothing but shifting shapes in the blackness of memory. you think about how it made you feel back then, when it was all fresh, and it was like a soft spring breeze, still cool to the touch, when you could reach out and poke their nose. now you reach out and there’s nothing but air.

it’s funny, too, because you don’t want to go back to when you were with them, even though you know it could be a long time before you could see them again. you remember all the times you had together with fondness, and even though you don’t know what the future entails, you know that their love is forever with you, and there is nothing you will face without their encouragement and support. so much has happened, good and bad, since then, and you’re learning to cope without the luxury of their physical presence and make do with text messages and old retold stories. you know how much you’ve grown since then, that while knowing just how far you’ve come, you’ve gained even more knowledge on how far you still have to go.

and what’s funniest of all is, despite how difficult it is to get used to life without them, without seeing their wondrous faces and hearing their charming laughs, without sharing secrets in hushed whispers or discussing the future with frustration and impatience, you know that sooner or later you’ll get used to this life too before moving onto the next stage, and that, no matter how uncomfortable you feel adjusting to a new stage of life, it will eventually become just as comfortable as the previous one before the next life-altering change, and so on, and so forth; and that no matter what, your closest friends will help you move on, even if it means moving on from them. because they love you. and you love them.

and no matter how many moves, or how many changes, or how many uncomfortable or comfortable moments there are ahead of you, there is nothing you will do to leave these people behind, because when you say best friends forever, this time…this time you mean it.

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