11-23-14

I want to be bare
but at the same time I want to wear many layers
layers so many you can no longer see my skin
see my face
see my tears

I want to be free
but at the same time I want to live a lie
a lie so deep it forces a smile
forces a laugh
forces a happiness

I want to be known
but at the same time I want to hide
hide underneath my public profile
underneath my number of friends
underneath my plethora of acquaintances

I feel a sadness deep within me
I want to take it out
but it would cause pain to remove it
and I am afraid it would break
me

I miss you and wish you were here
but I feel so selfish when I say that
so I pretend I am okay for just another day
I tell you I love you but in reality
you are breaking my heart

I want you to be happy
I want you to find God
I want you to have more
(more than I have)

I type so confidently
but in reality i
i am so weak
i am only confident in my sadness

I sway in the breeze to survive
I know it is wrong and I know I should fight
but I would rather be on good terms
than to be myself

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