my jacket smells like smoke,
and I smile, trying to remember when I could have worn it last.
it has been so long since it was cold.
I think back, and yeah, I knew you then.
I wonder if I knew what was going to happen to us, and where I’d be, all those months ago.
would I have known I’d spend the rest of my life with you?
I think I did. but I didn’t know it as I know it now.
or, as I know you now.
I feel as though I am floating on my back in a clear river, and below me are smooth algae-coated rocks.
when before, I was diving for them, now I trust they will always be there.
but a waterfall approaches.
you’re here beside me, now; even on the other side of this phone, I feel you here,
holding me close, interweaving my hand with yours.
we tell each other stories and laugh, and wait for the day when we will be side by side.
life is not always easy. well, in my experience, it never has been.
and while I am unknowledgeable in many ways, I feel I am an expert on a couple subjects:
the color of your eyes;
the inner workings of your mind;
and perhaps, my own determined spirit, fighting for what and whom I love.
without knowing what would happen, I invested in you. and I found you just as I wanted.
you were supporting me throughout the twists and turns of the river,
holding me tight during the drops.
and here we are, before our great waterfall.
I used to think I wasn’t ready for it. but now I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
though investing in something bigger than myself terrified me at first,
I think of it now as the most obvious choice.
I can’t think of anything else I would rather do
than interlock my arm with yours and face the world.
I want the best for you,
and you want the best for me.
I am the best for you,
and you are the best for me.
why should I marry you?
my answer is,